Hamster ball
by Super.Musha
Summary: What happens when you put all the akatsuki members in a hamster ball? FIND OUT HERE! rated for hidans mouth.
1. Day 1

Musha: Ello my loyal readers!

Lenna: Holly shit! YOU have loyal readers?!?!

Musha: Shut up Lenna. Any ways, my friend Sheta-

Sheta: Did someone say my name?

Lenna: no. Now go back to your margarita.

Sheta: OKAY!!!

Musha: As I was saying. A while ago she-

Lenna: You mean Sheta?

Musha: yes I mean Sheta.

Sheta: Damn it! Now I KNOW someone said my name!!!

Musha: WOULD YOU BE QUIET AND LET ME TALK?!!!!

Lenna and Sheta: …….

Musha: Thank you. Now, awhile back Sheta had an interesting idea of what would happen if you put all the characters of twilight in a giant hamster ball. Well, I don't have any twilight characters. THEREFORE! I will test the theory of what would happen if you put all the AKATSUKI members in a giant hamster ball, the hamster ball was provided by my friends Shiku and Ricoshi.

Ricoshi: HI!

Shiku: 'Sup?

Itachi: Oh hell no. You are NOT getting me in that thing.

Kisame: ME NITHER!

Tobi: OH! OH! TOBI WANTS IN THE HAMSTER BALL! TOBI WANTS IN THE HAMSTER BALL!!!

Diedara: Shut up Tobi, un.

Pein: You're not getting any of us in that hamster ball, well, maybe Tobi, but that's it!

Musha, Lenna, and Sheta: Wanna bet?

Five minutes, three bottles of sake, twenty seven pixy stix, and two rubber chickens later

Hidan: #$% Musha! YOU BETTER #$%# #%$$# $% GET ME THE #$% OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!

Musha: You know Hidan, it's a good thing I have this bleeper, 'cause I'm really trying to keep this child appropriate.

Hidan: FUCK YOU!!!! *shows middle finger*

Musha: Well… There goes that dream…

Kakuzu: how exactly did we end up in here any ways?

Konan: I honestly don't know.

Tobi: YAY! TOBI'S A HAMSTER!!!

Everyone but Musha, Lenna, and Sheta: SHUT UP TOBI!!!

Musha: WELL! Only one more week! That means seven chapters total!!!

Akatsuki members: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Lenna: later guys! WE have lives to live and pixy stix to eat!

Sheta and Musha: YAY! PIXY STIX!!!

Musha: well, hope you liked it!

Lenna: Plenty more where that came from!

Sheta: mmmmmm peanut butter…

Lenna: Sheta! Save some for your beta!

Sheta: Screw you! I'M Alfa, I don't have to listen to you!

Star: I'm gonna be in the next chapter right!

Musha: sure! You can be Ken-Chan the magical midget!!!

Star: HEY!! YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THAT!!!

Lenna: OH NO ATTAK OF THE MIDGETS!!!

Star: GRRRRR!!!

Musha: Bye peoplez! Please review! And remember! NEVER MAKE A MIDGET ANGRY!!!

Star: *tackle*


	2. day 2

Musha: OKAY!!! My second chapter of Hamster ball!!!!

Star: AND I'M IN IT THIS TIME!!!

Lenna: So, you're, like, mentally retarded and stuff, right?

Star: HEY!!!

Musha: Sorry it took so long, I got restricted from the computer.

Lenna: HAHA!

Musha: Shut up! Anyways, on with the story.

Lenna: Little bunny fufu, hopin' though the forest, scopin' up the field mice and bopin' them on the head! NO!! HE'S A MURDERER!!! MURDERER!!!!!!!!

Itachi: Um, will you let us out now?

Lenna: What reason do I have to let you out?

Itachi: … Cause' I'm smexy.

Lenna: True… But! Then I can't see the smexy person suffer!!!

Itachi: Oh… that's just evil…

Lenna: I KNOW! ISN'T IT!!!

Musha: HEY! Look what I found!* Holds up a large grey rat-like creature*

Diedara: What is that thing and what are you doing with it, un?

Musha: It's an opossum! And I have it to make this story more interesting!!

Kisame: Your not putting that thing in here are you?

Musha: *Opening the lid to the hamster ball* What do you think?

Hidan: MUSHA YOU BETTER GET THAT FUCKING THING AWAY FROM ME!!!

Kakuzu: IF IT EVEN _TOUCHES_ MY MONEY I'LL KILL YOU!

Itachi: *Glares*

Kisame: Um… I'm allergic to rodents. *Starts hyperventilating*

Tobi: Zzzzzzzzzz

Diedara: *Sigh*

Konan: Crap…

Pein: Musha! Put. The opossum. DOWN!!!!

Musha: O.K!!!!! *Drops the sleeping opossum into the hamster ball*

The opossum lands on Itachi who smacks it off into the side of the hamster ball, and wakes up Tobi.

Tobi: KITTY!!!

Diedara: Tobi, that's not a kitty, un.

Tobi: Tobi wants to pet the kitty!

All Akatsuki members: TOBI! NO!!!

Opossum wakes up. Opossum sees Kisame. Opossum attacks Kisame.

Kisame: *Shrieking like a little girly and running around the already cramped hamster ball* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!!!!!!!!

Lenna: LMAO!! A SIX FOOT TALL SHARKMAN AFRAID OF AN OPOSSUM!!!! LOL!!!!

Musha: HEY! Opossums are scary. Has one hiss at you? IT SOUNDS LIKE A MIX BETWEEN A DEMON CAT AND SAITAN!!!!!

Lenna: oh I'm sure it's not that bad.

Suddenly the opossum jumps to the ground and hisses, causing everyone to scream, except Tobi who just sits there and claps.

Star: HOLLY CRAP!!!

Lenna: AH! IT'S KLEN-CHAN THE MAGICAL MIDGET! SHE'S COME TO EAT ALL THE ITALLIAN FOOD!!!

Star: What? Than makes no sense!!!

Lenna: OH SURE!!! PLAY DUMB!!! BUT THEN YOU EAT ALL THE ITALIAN FOOD!! THEN ALL THE ITALIAN PEOPLE!!!!! AND SOON THE WORLD WILL FOGET ALL ABOUT ITALY!!!!

Star: O.o

Musha: O.o

Kisame: O.o

Opossum: O.o

Diedara: O.o

Pein: O.o

Konan: O.o

Itachi: O.o

Kakuzu: O.o

Hidan: O.o

Sheta: YAY LENNA!!!

Star: Sheta? When did you get here?

Sheta: shortly after I heard the girly screaming.

Everyone looks at Kisame.

Kisame: *sweat drop*

Musha: Uuuuuuuuummmmmm……… I'm just gonna end this chapter now…

Star: OH LOOK SPEGETI!

Lenna: SEE! I TOLD YOU!! GET AWAY FROM THAT YOU EVIL MIDGET!!! *tackles Star*

Musha: O.o Okay… Review? Possibly? Please?


	3. Day 3

Musha: ……

Lenna: GET BACK HERE!!!

Star: Sheta! HEEEEEELLLLP!!!!!!

Sheta: LMAO!!!!!!

Musha: Guys? …. Can we get back to the story now?

Every one looks at Musha: OK!!!

Musha: Good, that was easy!

Tobi: Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance.

Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I prance prance prance and I prance prance prance!

Diedara: Shut up Tobi, un.

Musha jumps out of the bushes wearing her "kitty whore suit": Hi everyone!

Diedara: You seem… Different.

Hidan: What are you any way?

Musha: I'm a kitty!

Tobi: KITTY!

Lenna, Sheta, and Star jump out of the bushes and start to sing along with Musha: Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance. Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I prance prance prance and I prance prance prance!

Star: … I can't believe I actually sang that…

Pein: Please, don't ever sing that again.

Lenna: *leaning against the glass hamster ball* Your not exactly in the best position to be asking us favors hamster boy.

Pein: *Glares*

Tobi: Diedara! Tobi is good boy! But Tobi is hungry…

Diedara: We all are Tobi.

Hidan: We've been in here for three days without food!

Tobi: ZETSU TRIES TO EAT TOBI!!!!!

Lenna, Sheta, Musha, and Star: NOOOOOOO! NOT TOBI!!!!!!!!

Musha opens the hamster ball and takes Tobi out.

Itachi: Hey! What about us!

Lenna: What about you?

Musha: Yah, you can get eaten by Zetsu for all we care.

Sheta: But Tobi is a good boy!

All four girls give Tobi a hug.

Tobi: YAY! HUGS FOR TOBI!

Zetsu's stomach growls and every one turns to look at him

Zetsu: Mmm, fish.

Everyone looks at a very pale Kisame and Itachi starts pushing him forward.

Kisame: Hey! What are you doing?

Itachi: Lots of people sacrifice themselves for the sake of others, your about to be one of them.

Kisame: WHAT!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Gasp* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Gasp* OOOOOOOOO!!!

Pein: OH SHUT UP!!!

They shove Kisame forward and Zetsu…………………………………………….............

Musha: Sorry this parts a little graphic for the rating I put on the story.

Lenna: Aw, but I like graphic parts. *pouts*

Musha: Anyways… I haven't decided if Kisame lives or dies. If you don't review I'll probably decide to kill him…

Kisame: PLEASE REVIEW!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE PLANT FOOD!!!!!

Musha: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! REVIEW!!!


	4. Day 4

Kisame was hanging onto an air hole to escape Zetsu's hungry jaws.

Kisame: P-P-P-P-PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

Musha: well Kisame, it's your lucky day! Apparently a person by the name of Ninja No-Name ACTUALLY CARES IF YOU LIVE OR DIE!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!

Kisame: G-good. Just get me out of here please!

Lenna: Oh come on Musha! Your not gonna save him just cause of one little review are you?

Musha: yes, because unlike you I have a heart!

Sheta: at least make do something for us! Like…. Like…. I got nothin'.

Musha: well maybe we can get suggestion from our readers!

Kisame: AAAAAAAH! HE BIT ME!!!!!

Musha: crap 0.0

She grabs a flame thrower and opens the hamster ball.

Musha: BACK! BACK YOU BEAST!

She reaches out to Kisame.

Musha: Damn it. My arms aren't long enough. LENNA! You're a giant! Get your butt over her and help!

Lenna: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!!!!!

Musha: Oops O.o I mean… your arms are longer than mine!

Lenna: fine .

She grabs Kisame and '"accidentally" throws him on top of star.

Star: Grrrrrrrrr

Kisame: gulp.

Star then throws Kisame off of her and starts to mutter angrily to herself

Musha: well we rescued Kisame.

Lenna: but we need your help.

Sheta: help us think of a way for Kisame to repay us.

Star: and be nice please

Lenna, Sheta, Musha, and Star: Review please!!!


	5. Day 5

Musha: So! Thanks to all the people who reviewed!

Lenna: There names are: Ninja No-name, Death-ducky, and totaltheTERRIER.

Musha: Yah…

Kisame: so what do I have to do?

Musha: well we got two for making sushi and one for making YOU into sushi. (glares at Lenna)

Lenna: what! I bet he taste good!

Kisame: (gulp)

Musha: Well since it would make no sense to kill you after we-

Lenna, Sheta, Star: You.

Musha: … I saved you. You get to make us sushi.

Kisame: I don't know how…

Musha: That's why I bought you this.

Kisame: (reads out loud) "Sushi making for Dummies" Ok but WHERE do I make it? You lock us out of the base.

Musha gestured with her hand for him to turn around. Behind her was a large sushi bar.

Kisame: Was that there before?(walks in)

Musha: Look at the sign!

Star (reading out loud) "sushi bar. We serve shark"… O.o We're not gonna?

Musha: We'll see!

Star: O.o

They all walk in and sit down.

Kisame: Hey, thanks for cutting it for me. I don't think I could of… :*(

Musha: You may look all tough but your just a big softy when it comes to fish.

Itachi: Kisame! Through us some sushi! Zetsu's trying to eat us again!

Kisame: Um, should I?

Musha nods.

Lenna: Here, I'll feed them!

Lenna takes the plate of sushi and a grabs a fishing pole of the wall as the others watch with interest. She climbs onto the hamster ball and opens it, then she puts sushi on the hook and lowers the line inside. Zetsu watches hungrily as it gets closer, Finally he gets impatient and jumps up and grabs it in his mouth. Lenna stands up and starts to reel in.

Lenna: (yelling excitedly) I Caught one, I caught one!

Sheta: (Clapping) Yay Lenna!

Musha, Star, and Kisame: (sweat drop)

Musha: Well that's all I guess.. Please review, and give me some ideas! I'm running out.


	6. Day 6

Musha: Okay! So sorry I've been gone so long! Luckily I had Star in charge of feeding the Akatsuki so they wouldn't starve to death!

Star: Yep!

Hidan: Are you fucking kidding me! The bitch fucking barely fed us at all!

Kisame: *Back in the Hamster ball* and most that food we gave to Zetsu to keep him from eating us!

Itachi: Eh, I was on a diet anyways….

Tobi: Ha-ha! Tobi didn't have to stay in the hamster ball 'cause Tobi is a good boy!

All Akatsuki members: Shut up Tobi!

Kisame: Hey Itachi, I just thought of something! Couldn't you use fire jutsu and melt the glass of the hamster ball?

Musha: Hey! You guys better not be plotting an escape! No escape plotting aloud!

Itachi: Kisame, there is currently a thin layer of glass separating me from a small group of rabid fan girls. Why would I want to break that barrier?

Lenna: *Sitting on the ground rocking back and forth while petting an Itachi plushy and giggling insanely*

Kisame: Uh, good point…..

Itachi: Plus the heat would TOTALLY damage my hair…

Diedara: Plus it would probably kill us, un…

Kisame: That too….

Musha: Okay! We have some things to do! *Pulls out a list* What first?

Lenna: Here's an Idea, we'll start with "One" then go on to "Two" and so on!

Sheta: That's no fun! Starts with number negative one!

Star: There is no negative one…

Sheta: WELL MAKE ONE!!!

Lenna: Oh! Then do number purple!

Musha: *Change number "one" to "negative one" and number "two" to number "Purple"* I like that number… Okay! Number negative one! Bring Sasuke so he can taunt Itachi about being trapped in a hamster ball! First we'll need someone to bring Sasuke…

Star: That might take awhile…

Lenna: Che, not when you got Ninja skills! I'll get him!

Sheta: I'll come!

Musha: Okay!

Lenna and Sheta: *disappear*

Musha: And while we're waiting-

Lenna and Sheta: *Reappear with a very confused Sasuke* WE'RE BACK!

Musha: Okay, never mind then…

Sasuke: What the hell?

Lenna: *Pointing at Itachi* Hey Sasuke look! Your brothers trapped in a giant hamster ball!

Sasuke: *Sees Itachi and starts laughing*

Itachi: *Glaring at Sasuke*

Sasuke: Dude! A weasel trapped in a hamster ball!

Itachi: …………..

Sasuke: Maybe you don't have enough hatred to get out!

Sheta: so… lame….

Musha: Eh, maybe this wasn't the best idea, but at least we tried!

Sasuke: *Laughing his ass off* Not so tough now are you!

Star: Alright, that's enough out of you!

Itachi: You know Sasuke, just because I'm trapped in this Hamster ball doesn't mean I can't still defeat you….

Sasuke: Che, I'd like to see you try!

Itachi: *Grins*

Lenna: This should be interesting!

Itachi: *Runs towards Sasuke, causing the hamster ball to start rolling*

Other Akatsuki members: *Either walk or fall over due to the movement of the hamster ball*

Hidan: *Screaming profanities as he falls over*

Sasuke: *Screams like a girl as he's ran over by the Hamster ball and smashed into the ground*

Itachi: Hn…

Tobi: Wow 'Tachi-chan! You must be really FAT to move the hamster ball with everyone else in there!

Itachi: *Eye twitches* Your next…

Star: lol

Musha: Okay! Number purple!

Star: PURPLE ISN'T EVEN A NUMBER!!!!

Lenna: It is now!

Musha: Yeah! Okay! Set Zetsu on fire!

Zetsu: O.o What?

Lenna: *Grabs Zetsu out of the hamster ball* You heard her!

Zetsu: W-wait! Don't do this! DAMN IT! I'LL EAT YOU ALL!!!!

Star: *Tying Zetsu to a pole* Yeah, whatever….

Musha: Then number three's burn Kakuzu's money… *Starts putting bags of money at Zetsu's feet* Heh heh, might as well take care of two things at once!

Kakuzu: WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? DON'T BURN MY MONEY!!!!

Lenna: *Sets Zetsu and the money on fire via match stick and gasoline* Too late...

Zetsu: *Screaming girlishly as the fire climbs up the pole towards him*

Kakuzu: NUUUUUUUU!!!! *Falls to the ground sobbing as his money is burnt to ashes*

Hidan: Fucking pull yourself together Kakuzu!

Sheta: *Laughing and pointing at Zetsu as the flames reach him*

And then, a miracle.... It started raining....

Zetsu: Yay! I live! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!

Musha: Well that sucks....

Sheta: Oh well! At least we got to hear him scream like a little girly!

Lenna: NO! MY HAIR'S GETTING WET!!!!

Star: Ha-ha Lenna! You look like a drowned cat!

Musha: Well, I guess we'll stop here for now! Anyways, next chapter will be the last chapter! So if you have any request speak now! Although I may or may not use them....

Lenna: Review!


End file.
